How I found my violin (or rather, how my violin found me) - Lois de Cruz

Discover more Featured Stories like this in The Strad Playing Hub

I found my first violin in my local music shop five years ago when I was 60 years old. It was a Stentor Student Grade violin costing £150. I had never played the violin before, and it was a surprise Christmas gift to myself. This find was the start of an amazing journey on which I am still travelling.

My youngest son was diagnosed with cancer at the end of May 2018 when he was only 30 years old. By the end of September, scans were revealing that the cancer had spread to his liver and he had a 60 per cent liver resection on 24 December 2018. Inevitably, all the stress and anxiety of the previous months had taken its toll and I was feeling low and beyond exhausted. After a therapy session in late January, I called into a café on my way home to treat myself to a deluxe hot chocolate. As I walked from the car, I passed a music shop. Suddenly, I experienced a strong and inexplicable desire to buy a violin. To this day I do not know where it sprang from but looking back it was akin to a spiritual experience. 

If the assistant was surprised by my request to buy a violin, she didn’t show it. She brought a selection of violins for me to examine. I had never bought a violin before, so I did not know where to start but the assistant was very helpful. As well as the Stentor violin, she suggested that I work from A Tune a Day Book 1 as it was not too child orientated. She set the violin up for me and tuned it carefully. She also reminded me that I would have to put plenty of rosin on the bow before it would play. To my amusement, she told me that she frequently had people returning violins that supposedly did not work because there was no rosin on the bow.

As I left the shop, she invited me to come back and let her know how I was getting on. I told her that I would return once I could play a little tune. Ten minutes later, settled into the warm fug of the coffee shop with my hot chocolate, I started to try and justify my impetuosity. Despite my reservations, I knew I was desperate for distraction and challenge. I instinctively felt that teaching myself the violin would completely take me out of myself and be totally absorbing. However, at that point I did not know how passionate I would become about playing. 

Once home, I opened my new violin case and I was struck by the contrast of the beautiful shiny wood of my violin and the deep blue pile of the velvet lining it snuggled in. Even now, every time I open my violin case this aspect still gives me pleasure. My violin felt smooth in my hand but a bit alarming. I had never held a violin before, and I did not know what to do. I did remember to rosin the bow but I turned the bow screw far too tight until it resembled a bow that you might shoot arrows from. Eventually, after consulting my new book, I did manage to adjust the bow and pull it across the strings. To my delight, it made a rather lovely sound on the open strings.

The time I could practise was limited by the physical strain on my body. At this stage I could only play standing up as this gave my arms more freedom to move but it was physically tiring and emotionally frustrating. After a few weeks, I began to feel the draw of my violin more and more. I decided that I was not going to make progress without the help of a violin teacher. I needed someone to at show me the basics of how to hold the violin and use the bow to avoid injuring myself. This felt like a huge step and a bigger commitment to my new hobby. I was not sure that any teacher would want to take on a novice of 60 or whether it was worth the time and financial commitment. Deep down I worried that I was going to make a complete fool of myself. 

I was aware that there were music teachers who taught students in the Music Department at Keele University where I worked. With great trepidation I sent an email to the violin teacher Clair Stanley, whose qualifications and experience seemed far too advanced for a beginner like me.

Clair kindly agreed to give me a lesson and I turned up at the music department proudly carrying my shiny new violin case. It was at this point that I realised I was going to have to play for her. I have never felt so vulnerable playing wobbly notes on open strings as she played the piano and desperately tried to keep me in time. 

I have now been having weekly lessons for about five years. I have a beautiful new Jay Haide violin which Clair helped me choose and a splendid Coda Diamond bow, but I will never part with the Stentor. I cannot praise Clair highly enough and I am so grateful for her care, friendship and sense of humour. There are not many professional musicians that would have the patience to work with a beginner in their sixties and put up with my self-criticism, terrible self-consciousness and on occasions despair. Clair tells me I have a good ear. She tells me I am progressing well and that she enjoys our lessons. This is what I need to hear, although truly I know that my playing can still sound dreadful on occasions and that I have a very long way to go. 

Sadly, my beautiful son died in October 2021, and I genuinely believe that having my violin and my lessons has saved my sanity. I practise for at least an hour every day and for this time I don’t think about cancer or how sad and angry I still am sometimes. Playing the violin is the best part of my day. I will never forget finding my Stentor violin or perhaps the truth is that it found me when I needed it the most.

This story is in response to the article ’I bought my violin for £6: Anna Clyne’. Do you have an interesting story of how you acquired your instrument? Let us know! Email thestrad@thestrad.com

All photos courtesy Lois de Cruz

Playing

In The Best of Technique you’ll discover the top playing tips of the world’s leading string players and teachers. It’s packed full of exercises for students, plus examples from the standard repertoire to show you how to integrate the technique into your playing.

Teaching

The Strad’s Masterclass series brings together the finest string players with some of the greatest string works ever written. Always one of our most popular sections, Masterclass has been an invaluable aid to aspiring soloists, chamber musicians and string teachers since the 1990s.

Calendars

American collector David L. Fulton amassed one of the 20th century’s finest collections of stringed instruments. This year’s calendar pays tribute to some of these priceless treasures, including Yehudi Menuhin’s celebrated ‘Lord Wilton’ Guarneri, the Carlo Bergonzi once played by Fritz Kreisler, and four instruments by Antonio Stradivari.